Dear 2016

An open letter to 2016,

You, my friend, were awful from the moment that ball dropped, until you ran out. You took so many wonderful people this year. You damaged the very fabric of our world with the holes that you have left in our lives. I have seen the worst, I have seen how terrible things could get. Thanks to your constant hardship, I no longer fear Hell because I lived it. I need to not only acknowledge the celebrities that you took, but the wonderful people in my life, and the ones that were damaged along the way.

So, here is my personal vent for this year:

F@%K  You, For giving my best friend cancer, twice!!!!!! The radiation, the chemo, the surgery!!! The Hell, the pure Hell that you have put her through, and we know it's not close to being done yet. She is still kicking but F&$K you for this!!!!!!
For giving a little girl cancer and watching her go from healthy to a shell. F$$K You! She is still fighting too.
For the entire last part of the year that was so personally bad to me I almost ended it, twice. For the Hell of a personal situation that will effect me for the rest of my life..... For the Hell that makes me shake and keeps me up at night....

 You didn't win all of 2016:

I had the most wonderful friends in the entire world to get me through this. I had more support, love, and people who were able to pick me up when I couldn't even see straight. When I wanted to stop, they pushed me to keep going. When the impossible happened, and kept happening, I had love and support from people that I will never ever be able to pay back. I have my Mom close to me now which is so wonderful. I have fallen but I have been picked up. I fought until my knuckles were bloody and I kept punching. I kept going even though I was pushed beyond any limits I thought I had. I found strength in almost nothing that I had left. I am so lucky for my friends because without them, I never would have gotten through 2016.

So goodbye. I know that the clock striking midnight won't change things. It's not a magical wand that will make everything a clean slate. There is still lots of Hell coming. I know what I am in for, for the most part, and I know how bad it can get. But I know that you didn't kill me, 2016, even though you tried. You almost took everything that I had, but I'm still breathing. You taught me to keep fighting even though I didn't have any breath left. It's a new year, and it only is a change in what we write on a calendar. It can be whatever we make it to be, but you won't beat me. 2013 didn't and neither did you, 2016. Three years of Hell and more to come, but you didn't succeed in taking everything away from me. I'm still here, and you are over!


To all those we have lost this year, I miss you. To all those who have been sick, I'm praying for you. For all those who felt hopeless, so did I, but I'm still here and you are too. Congratulations, because being here is a huge accomplishment. For all of those who are scared, I am too, but we can get through the impossible together.

You are not alone!