And The Underdog Wins: February 2017

Friday, February 3, 2017

Why do I keep writing?

A year ago, I published my first eBook through Amazon called, "And the Underdog Wins: The Fifth Anniversary Edition." I wanted to take this moment in this blog to explain why I keep doing this to myself, even though it may seem like I should just throw in the towel.

I am a writer, yet nothing fills me with more fear than writing. It is so hard for me to do, yet it is all that I can do. I am afraid to share my "real works" with the world, yet I want everyone to read my stories. I want people to know my characters, and my stories, but I don't want to feel to vulnerable so people can make their accusations and compare anything to my own life. It is pure torture, and yet I still won't give it up.

I was never given much support from my family. As much as they loved me, they told me that a career in writing isn't real, and that I need to "get a real job," so I can survive. I have been working as a caregiver for the last three years, all the while taking odd freelance jobs for writing wherever I can get them. It doesn't pay much. It will hardly cover a bill, but I keep going. I spent all my life being told that I can't, and I shouldn't, and to do anything else. I have spent most of my life in misery and listening to those loud voices. But, I still try.

I try every single day to battle against my crippling Depression and Anxiety to attempt to write. Days sometimes turn into weeks before I can make myself do it. But, there is still a very real drive and very real reason why I haven't given up on writing still. I question myself to death. I shame myself for my stories not being good enough, or why anyone would read this, or what in the world is wrong with me and I should be doing something that will earn me money. I keep going.

I try with this blog for over 5 years now because I can't give up the writing. Even when I know that no one is reading. Even when I know that no one cares, I can still see that I do have a body of work even though it's not professional, or not what people would consider a good blog. I try to do research to improve the way that I blog even though I know no one will read this because they don't. I created a Facebook page, and have done some advertising. Even though the odds are all telling me that I should stop and give it up, I keep going.

I keep going even though I am not earning a cent from my book sales. I keep going even though I am not earning a cent from my blog. I keep going even though my portfolio is small, and I don't have two dimes to rub together. I keep going by having some days where I can quiet the voices, the depression, and the self-hatred long enough to try to write. I keep doing this to myself, torturing myself every single day because at my core, I am a writer. I have never given up, even though I have been silent for years at a time, I still always go back to writing.

My dream is to write for myself and get paid for the products. I want to write books, and keep blogging. Not what blogs have become, but what they truly are, something more informal, yet still fun. I have never been one who can stand working for others and helping a company with goals that aren't mine. I have put in so much time in retail, banking, and customer service. I have spent my life working for other company's wants and needs, but never my own. That is why I keep writing. It's for me, for my hope, and for future, for all those who told me that I can't, for all of those who told me that I could.

Someday, I might be able to achieve my dream, but I have literally never given up even though it seems like I have at times. I keep writing and I always will. I have not been a failure because my body of work isn't where I think it should be. I have been writing, and no one has ever been able to stop me from my life's work, even myself!

So Keep Writing....

Here is the link to purchase my book!
https://www.amazon.com/Underdog-Wins-5th-Anniversary-Collection-ebook/dp/B01BESNA1W/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1486172161&sr=8-2&keywords=and+the+underdog+wins

Thursday, February 2, 2017

The 13th?

Hello friends,

As you all know, I am very sadden to see Peter Capaldi leave Doctor Who after only being in since late 2013. I was so excited to hear the announcement that he was taking over the role of everyone's favorite Time Lord, The Doctor, that I cried! I believe he should stay in for at least one more season given the fact that there will be a new companion, a new show runner, and a new head writer. I don't believe that he had a chance to really shine. As much as I love Clara, the whole Danny story line was horrible and it made me really dislike her character. I was happy to see her go and give Peter Capaldi a chance to shine without Clara. Don't get me wrong, I also love Jenna Coleman, but she wasn't given the best material to work with the last few years. Her story line was rough and it did nothing for The Doctor except make me feel sorry for him that he is stuck running around with this girl. He needed the fresh breath of a new companion, and he will get that chance for one season only and then will exit on the Christmas special as per tradition.

A lot of "band wagon" fans were very upset to have Peter Capaldi take over after Matt Smith, and David Tenant. They said he was too old to play this character when no one was more prepared or better to handle this role.He is the only actor to have ever been young enough to watch all The Doctors while he was growing up. He started a fan club and wrote to the magazine for years. He was a guest star on Doctor Who, and Torchwood. There has never been a better choice. Now, he is leaving and he will be sorely missed, as every single doctor has been before him. The question is, who will take over this role? People are already taking bets, but as a fan, I have really thought about this, and these are the people I think could be a great Doctor. Some of these are pipe dreams and may be a bit out there, but these are some people that I would enjoy in the role...if anyone ever asks me!

1. Tom Hughes:

I don't know much about Tom Hughes outside of what I have seen him in "Victoria" where he plays Prince Albert. What I have seen, I really like. I think that he plays a great character and gives Albert a lot of life. He makes him unlikable and likable at the same time. He makes him also seem a bit alien. I think he would bring a lot of life to The Doctor.

2. Chris O'Dowd:

Of course, I have seen Chris O'Dowd on the IT Crowd and several other movies. I really love watching him. He is very likable, funny, and has versatility. My eye always goes to him while he is on the screen, and I think he needs to be in more films and TV shows even if he doesn't get the role of The Doctor.

3: Richard Ayoda:

Another vet of the IT Crowd is Richard Ayoda. He has also been in lots of movies and TV shows and is highly likable. I also love watching him, and want to see him do more! He is truly funny and I think he would make an interesting Time Lord.

4. Tom Hiddleston:

Pipe Dream! I don't think he will ever take the role, but who could be better? Not many.

5, Idris Elba:

From Luther to The Office, this man knows how to act! He would make The Doctor both terrifying and amazing!!

6. Olivia Coleman:

Olivia Coleman has been in Doctor Who before and stars alongside David Tenant in Broadchurch. She is one bad ass lady and I would love to see her take over The Doctor!