When I was very little, I recall my Mom trying to help me learn words and how to spell. I couldn't understand the words woman and women. Not because of the tense, but because of the word itself. I didn't understand why the word with man or men had to be included in describing us. Look at the words for this gender: female, woman, women. You can't spell us without them. Men, man, and male are the root word. To me that was so unfair. I begged my Mom to tell me what out real word was because we certainly didn't need them to describe us. Why didn't we matter enough to be separate from men? It really hurt me and I realized from that young of an age that we are just a second thought in the eyes of the world.
It's not just the word for a gender that is unfair. A woman has a title that tells the world if they are married or not. Women are known as Miss if they are single, and Mrs. when they get married. There is the neutral title of Ms. but this is an often a unused and confused word Many people use it as interchangeable for both Mrs. and Miss. Men have never had a title that reveals if they are married or not. Our titles change because of marriage Something as simple as a title that is generally excepted by society shows how much we under value women. Being themselves isn't good enough. This projects prejudice even on an unconscious level. We are asked to fill out forms all of the time for various reasons including job applications and checking accounts. A woman has to determine their status by their title and men don't have to ever worry about it. They are always a Mr. and will never have to check a box or change anything to show if they are married or single.
What about your last name, ladies? That name is not your name. Your first name is most likely something one or both of your parents agreed upon. However, your last name is generally your Father's last name. Go back farther on your family tree and I'm sure you will find that generation after generation has a surname only from males. Unless your last name is made up and has no connections to your family tree, your surname is a man's name. This is something many women don't even think of but we should. When does our names matter? We go from having our Father's last name to having a husband's last name. Where is our identity? Not ever female takes her husbands last name is she decides to get married, but even if they don't change it, they still have a name that isn't their own. Even if you are in a same sex marriage and you decide to take your spouse's last name, that name is still not yours, it's a man's name. We don't matter enough to have a name of our own.
There is great deal of unfair pressure on both men and women when it comes to family names. Men get pressured to have children and pass their last name on. Especially if that family name is close to becoming obsolete. However, the girls in that same family will be encouraged to give their children the last name of the Father of the child. Women are not seen as name carriers, generally. Legally, it is easier for a child to have their Father's last name. This is why you don't normally see a woman passing on her own last name to her child. Her own child could have a hyphenated name made up of both parent's surnames. In that instance the Mother's last name is usually first, then followed by their Father's last name. Or, her child will not carry her last name at all and will only be the Father's. It is very rare to find a single mother who passed on her own last name to her child. It's even more rare to find a married women who's child has her last name only. This makes it seem as though a woman has less a right or even claim to their own child.
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This is all traditional of course and there are exceptions for almost all of these issues. However, these issues are very real and show how much a woman is valued and devalued.We have to put up with huge levels of sexism that is accepted by society every single day. We have to live in a world where we must define ourselves by our martial status yet men live without having to define themselves. We don't have our own names nor our own words that describe our gender that aren't heavily influenced by males. So tell me what is in a name, because if you are a woman, your name isn't yours.
There is great deal of unfair pressure on both men and women when it comes to family names. Men get pressured to have children and pass their last name on. Especially if that family name is close to becoming obsolete. However, the girls in that same family will be encouraged to give their children the last name of the Father of the child. Women are not seen as name carriers, generally. Legally, it is easier for a child to have their Father's last name. This is why you don't normally see a woman passing on her own last name to her child. Her own child could have a hyphenated name made up of both parent's surnames. In that instance the Mother's last name is usually first, then followed by their Father's last name. Or, her child will not carry her last name at all and will only be the Father's. It is very rare to find a single mother who passed on her own last name to her child. It's even more rare to find a married women who's child has her last name only. This makes it seem as though a woman has less a right or even claim to their own child.
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This is all traditional of course and there are exceptions for almost all of these issues. However, these issues are very real and show how much a woman is valued and devalued.We have to put up with huge levels of sexism that is accepted by society every single day. We have to live in a world where we must define ourselves by our martial status yet men live without having to define themselves. We don't have our own names nor our own words that describe our gender that aren't heavily influenced by males. So tell me what is in a name, because if you are a woman, your name isn't yours.
