Suprise: I Wrote A Book

Hello Wonderful Readers,

I come to you today with some awesome news!


I have turned this blog into a book on Kindle!!

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01BESNA1W


Now, I know what you are thinking, why do we buy a book when we can read this blog for free? Good point, but if you are like me and are a fan of something you must find everything you can on the topic. This book is different than the blog. It features the best blogs of the past 5 years with some updates and changes. It could be an extra bonus if you want to find out more information about  me. Maybe that will turn you off too, I don't know.

The thing is, I  have been wanting to write a book for a very long time. This broke the ice for me and it made me not only believe in myself but it made me want to do more. For those who know me, the struggle is very real. I put everything and everyone's wants and needs before my own so there was never enough time, never enough strength and too much depression getting in my way from making my book. I have been beat down by other's harsh words, people not believing in my, and flat out bullying me. Too long those voices have been in my head. I'm sure I'm going to get a lot of good and bad opinions for my work and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. After all, I'm pretty sensitive. I just can't let that get in my way any longer, especially after I have taken this first step.

So, here it is, the link to my book. If you don't like it, try to be kind. But at least I tried. I finally tried and that is half the battle! I hope that you will at least check it out and find something new and fun. I will of course continue this blog. I want to thank you for being a part of this blog for the past 5 years and all the encouragement that I get from you means the world. I get a lot of emails, texts, and messages about how you feel about my work and that means a lot to me! I hope we can make it another 5 years with another few books!!

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01BESNA1W

My Unpopular Opinions

Here are a bunch of random opinions that I have that are probably unpopular.  For no reason at all. 

I didn't care that  Jon Snow died.

They didn't kill enough people in Red Wedding. 

Kylo Ren may be a whiney bastard, but he's hot.

I have never watched the following shows, Jersey Shore, anything at all to do with the Kardashians,  ER, Dancing with the Stars, American Idol.

I don't like shoes, I rather go barefoot. 

I only enjoy Spring and Fall.

I wanted Ultron to take off his mask to reveil Robert California.

I thought "The Lady in the Lake" was a good movie.

If I was stuck on a desert island with anyone from the office it would be Dwight. 

If I use a cleaner that changes the water in the toliet blue, and I make it green I feel like I've accomplished something. 

I miss real photos.

I miss slamming down a phone after a bad call.

I love real books and book stores.  However the struggle is real because I like ebooks too. 

I think I learned more from YouTube than I did all my years in High School.

I feel that dating is like a long job interview. And I never get hired. 

I'm afraid of children under the age of 5. What do they do!?!

I thought Sex and the City was one of the WORST shows I've ever seen and it set the women's movement back 50 years.

I  don't understand people that won't leave their house without makeup on. Who are you trying to impress and what's wrong with your real face? 

Clowns are evil.

Why is it okay that we define ourselves by our jobs? How is it acceptable to spend more time with coworkers than your our loved ones? Why is this normal? 

Why, then are we so poor when we spend so much time working. For what? 

If women can do anything men can why are we still paid less than they are?  Why aren't we represented more in the House, the Senate,  or big business?

Why aren't there more penguins around, just randomly?  

When I say Netflix and chill, I literally means Netflix and chill. Shut up, leave me alone, my stories are on. Unless you have pizza then we can talk between show breaks. That's it.

I don't like any medical dramas on TV. 

I miss Boarders, Blockbuster,  and Hollywood video. I miss Mom and Pop coffee shops. 

Star Dust

There are so many tributes to David Bowie, and every one of them is well deserved. It is strange to feel a kinship to a celebrity that you have never met before. We didn't know them personally, yet we mourn and the pain is very real. I don't think we should apologize for being sad when one of these greats leave this world because they impacted our lives in some way. Their music got us through rough times, first loves, and breakups. Their movies are something we go back to over and over again like visiting an old friend.

Everyone knows the history of the artist David Bowie and his career can be summoned up with one word. Universe. That word is wide, every changing, and beautiful. It fills us with hope, inspires something in us something that we didn't know we had in us, and makes us connect with our fellow man. He changed often, pushed people to their limits, and created beauty and joy. His impact and career is as vast as the universe and will be carried in the stars for generations to come.

My love for David Bowie started very early on in my life. He was the Goblin King in "Labyrinth" which of course I watched a million times being a Jim Henson fan as well. I loved the story and the beautiful music. I still sing the songs, I still look for my friends because every once in awhile, for no reason, I need them. I'm pretty sure David Bowie's Jareth is one of the reasons I developed a lifelong attraction to men older than me. I was rooting for Sarah to forget about her brother and spend her life with the Goblin King.

I am a huge Beatles fan so David Bowie was everywhere musically when I was a child. I heard things he did with John Lennon on live stage recordings and of course, "Changes." It lead me to his albums and I started to collect them on vinyl. It took me until college to complete my collection and sadly I lost them all during a flood. It really broke my heart because it wasn't just losing records, it was losing art. There was something about those wild, strange, and sometimes very simple covers that hide the musical beast behind them.

I had books about him, classic rock and roll photos, and I would catch him on TV any time that  I could. I was a fan. I dressed up as Ziggy Stardust during several Halloween's growing up, and into adulthood. It's hard to write the impact that his art had on my life because it gets so very personal. There are hundreds of stories, and so many memories that I can attach to David Bowie. This is why his loss is so personal even though I never knew him. Even though none of us knew him, his impact was very real.

David Bowie left this plane of existence and is now everywhere. The stars do seem different somehow. I hope someday that his music, and stories will do for someone else what they did for me. I have a pretty good feeling that could just happen.

Plugged in World

Today, as I sat patiently awaiting the arrival of the Peapod delivery service for groceries, I pondered how wrong life has gone. Now to be fair, this delivery was a great deal and with limited ways to get around the city sometimes I took advantage of what was in front of me. However, I can't help but to think that all of this technology, and instant things have made things worse for us as humans. I have met more people with social anxiety in the last few years than I have my entire life. It was a rare thing 10 or even 15 years ago to met a person with social anxiety. Most of us didn't know what it was even. The question is was this always around and we are just now more aware of it, or has the world we live in made us become socially ill?

I myself suffer from anxiety, social as well as general, PTST, and depression so I'm no stranger to the woes and the ups and downs of living with this on a daily basis. I love the fact that I can text someone instead of calling, order food online instead of going to the store or calling, or even work from home without interacting directly with any human being face to face. Years of working in retail will sure do a number on you, trust me. Then add working in a bank and getting robbed and it changes your whole outlook in general. There are days when I order a pizza that I'm so sick with anxiety that I wish I had a cat flap that they could just stick the pizza under so I don't even have to open the door. To be fair, I don't live in the best neighborhood and I always hate opening the door to people even if I'm expecting them.

We live in a world of social media, and people live their full lives on there. They are able to write, interact, and even some will do things like Skype or Facetime. But what happens when you unplug and walk out that door? Are you alright or are you curled up in a ball in the corner. Do you find it harder now than ever to talk to someone, even those people you are may be comfortable with? I find that sometimes I want to hide behind the instant messages because it's easier than saying hello to that person in the shop. I hate it and love it at the same time. My mom suffered from crippling anxiety and hardly left the house. I think if she would have had this technology available to her then maybe she wouldn't have felt so alone and isolated. Now going through my own issues, I find the good in being plugged in, but I also feel like I'm retreating or even backtracking to when I was younger and had very poor social skills. I'm good with my loved ones, but ever once in awhile I even have to push myself to be with them and I love them! I much rather watch Netflix.

The decline in social interaction also leads to the decline in intelligence. People can learn from Google, or any other website but lack the real life skills to make the best choices. They can take all of their classes online but have no idea what it's like to be working in a room full of people. They can get good grades or do well in work, but feel entitled to everything because they have no clue what the real world is like. We can read or research anything including priceless art and cultures but are stories are less imaginative, more formulated, and less soulful. We are starving for art but feeding ourselves with a copied image. We forget how to sing and forget what is like to be truly inspired. Have you heard the top artists who are singers? That is proof enough of our issues.

Of course knowing me well enough, dear readers, you know what I'm going to say next. Firefly's movie Serenity was all about this very issue. The people were drugged and became so complacent that they literally stopped living. They didn't eat, sleep, or do anything to help themselves. They just sat there and let themselves die. Now that wasn't due to technology per say, but it makes me realize that this very real fear that someday we will become so far removed from ourselves, and the spinning world that we will except it, give up, and ultimately give in. A plugged in world is far easier to step on and hurt rather than a world full of people with passion, thought, and being adept to live and breath.

So what is the answer here? I'm just as much in this trap as any one else and I'm willing to admit it. This complex issue of what kind of lives we live is made harder by hiding behind this plugged in world. But it also helps people who are paralyzed with fear live a life they never thought possible. I guess I'm saying proceed with caution. There is no simple answer here but it is something that at the very least we need to be aware of. We need to find a balance between the worlds we live in because life is so short, and in a blink of an eye we are just a footnote lost in time.

Tips for getting your loved ones through cancer treatment: A beginner's guide

Hi everyone,


This is going to be a bit different than my "normal blog." But I guess nothing I do is normal so here we go. I have made the very sad observation that so many of us are being touched by cancer ourselves or our loved ones. It's a case of not if, but when this disease will touch your life in a very personal way. One out of three will get cancer at least once in their lifetime which means this is something that we all are fighting against. I know we all hope and pray for a cure but in the meantime we have to fight the front lines.  This is just a small guide for those who are starting this journey. I hope that maybe some of this will help you.


First, a bit of background on myself with this matter. I am a full time care giver for a cancer patient. I had a grandmother pass from cancer as well as a very good friend of mine. Childhood cancer ran rampant in our school hallways and one of my first memoires was of a little girl a few years older than me passing away from cancer. I know going through this is extremely difficult and sometimes, hopeless. There will days upon days of bad news and sickness and there will be days that you feel like you will never break the surface again. Then there will be days that are better. Every single person is different. Here are some tips that I wish someone would have told us, and some things that I have learned during this journey.


The first thing to remember is that EVERY SINGLE CASE IS DIFFERENT. You can have people going through the exact same cancer, stages, and treatment but that doesn't mean for an instant that they will react the same way. This is why cancer is so deadly, because it runs in an unpredictable manner that doesn't have a single cure all for the common person. Keeping that in mind, remember that people will have different side effects. Most people do not lose weight, most will gain it due to the chemo, but others will be down to skin and bones. Some people can work a full time job during treatment while other's can't leave their bed. Some will have hair loss, while others won't. And these are just some of the most obvious things. There will be things going on that you will never predict....which brings me too....


Never keep your mouth shut. If your loved one feels something unusual, please tell a nurse, doctor, caretaker or go to the ER. Even though you may think the cramp in your foot will go away it may actually be a blood clot. Your entire body is going through tremendous changes during treatment. Every good cell and every bad cell are being destroyed in order to treat the cancer. You treatment may cause internal bleeding, clots, heart attack, strokes, or even other cancers. Don't keep anything to yourself because you may be in big trouble, and your experience may also help another person later down the line.


Be prepared. If your loved one is able to come home after treatment keep a few things in mind. One, if you are able to have one bathroom designated for the person go through treatment, that is the best option. If you can't, make sure that the toilet, and the sink are scrubbed with bleach every time that they use the bathroom. When you do laundry for that person you will need to wash everything including sheets in hot water twice. Don't mix other people's laundry in with their loads. It's a good thing to stock up on bleach, Lysol, paper towels, laundry detergent, hand sanitizer, soaps, gloves, masks, band aids, tissues, toilet paper. Make sure everything is scent free because many people report a higher sensitivity to smells during treatment. Have a working thermometer, heating pad, ice packs, extra pillows, blankets, and toothbrushes. Your loved one will have to have one toothbrush per round of treatment and then throw it away. I recommend going to a dollar store and purchasing SOFT packages. Don't get anything fancy because you are going to go through a lot of them. Soft is very important because of how chemo can affect teeth.


When you are going to treatment with your loved one, bring a chemo survival kit for yourself, and the other person. Things you may want to include are: books, magazines, dark chocolate, pain reliever, pens, notebook, tissues, mints, snacks, drinks, phone charger, laptop, ipads, headphones, and anything to do with your hobby such as needle point. For the patient, bring the same plus anything that will make them feel at home like extra socks, comfy sweaters, or a stuffed animal. Make sure that you pay attention to what they may want such as mints, gum, or anything that will help with nausea. My friend used Star Bursts to help her, while others used papaya. ginger, and peppermint. Keep dark chocolate and green tea around which also helps sooth the belly. See if your hospital offers a dog program. Sometimes they will have a dog program within the hospital so a dog will be able to come visit. It is such a wonderful thing, it is free, takes a moment to ask, and will make your loved one smile. The weekly visits were something we all looked forward too. Ask about aroma therapy or other natural things you can do while you are going through treatment. It will help more than you can imagine.


Get help. Make sure you have someone to talk to if that means another person, social worker, therapist, minister, ect..... No one can go through this alone. This is life changing and arming yourself mentally will help you in this battle. You will have breakdowns, you will cry, be angry, hate the world, and question any faith you may have. That is normal. Allow yourself to feel what you want to feel, and allow your loved one to feel how they want to feel. Don't bottle these emotions because that will do more harm than good any day.  Find what will be good for your loved one. Sometimes talk therapy will be best in a one on one situation. Sometimes it's a group setting or something like art classes, or make up classes. See what the hospital has to offer because most likely they will have some program, or know where you can get the information.


Do your research. Make sure you research the cancer and know what kind of treatment options there are and what the potential side effects are. I'm not saying become a doctor or expert, but you owe it to yourself and loved one to make yourself familiar with what is going on. The more you know, the more you can be prepared for questions you need to ask, and anything that you may need to do. There isn't ever just one doctor or one nurse you come into contact during treatment. There is a whole team and you need to be apart of that team as well. Take notes during every single appointment, check up, exam, and treatment. Find patterns that your loved one is going through. For example, if you see an hour and a half after their first treatment they want orange juice, write it down.


On that note, write down everything your loved one eats. The reason I recommend this is because the appetite for a caner patient is very unpredictable. I found that when I wrote down all she ate, how much, and around how much time it took I found it was easier to predict what she could or would eat. Your loved one will go through not wanting anything at all to eat, and then all of a sudden get a craving for a grilled cheese sandwich. By the time you make it then will no longer want it.  Sometimes this list helped me avoid the work of getting the wanted item and not wasting a trip or money, plus making sure she had something she wanted to eat. This will happen, a lot, so please be patient with them. It will be frustrating because as soon as the words leave their lips of what they want, they could be changing their minds and no longer want those items. Take a deep breath because getting them to eat is sometimes a miracle.


Go online to find websites that you can get items for free for your loved ones. There is a lot out there for breast cancer which is nice but kind of stinks for others. Your team may know of sites you can go to get free items. I recommend Chemo Angels. It is site that will send your loved one gifts and goodies while they are going through treatment. It is anything from books to candy. It is wonderful and it is free. I loved seeing my friend's face when she got cards and gifts from a stranger who was thinking of her. Try American Cancer Society for information on free classes, items, and even transportation to and from treatment. Find anything you can about help with paying for treatments, it will be costly. See if your hospital has a patient navigator which can be very helpful with paper work,  and options you didn't know were out there. They will be needed to help with anything to do with your job, and paper work that they may need.


There will be a lot of paper work involved so do your best to help your loved one out. If you can't, then please find someone who can. The chemo will make your loved one have something called chemo brain. They will not be able to remember things like they used to, and that may never go away. It is a very real thing that changes the way your loved one can retain information. Please make sure to help them with paperwork at the doctors office, with work, school, legal papers, and anything else that may pop up. Keep copies of everything in a folder for your loved one, or scan it into your computer and back it up. It's always good to have a paper trail if you need it.


Be their loved ones. This means make sure that you don't just talk about cancer. Talk about things in daily life, or a TV show, or anything they want to. Don't make every moment about the cancer. It is going to be hard enough, and always on their mind. They may want to talk about it, but respect them when they don't. On that note, let them cry, yell, scream, laugh, or just be still. There will be more emotions than we have names for going on and there is nothing wrong with anger and sadness, or even happiness and joy.


I know there are many more things that can be added to this list. Just remember assume nothing, ask questions, do your research, be prepared, and roll with the punches. No matter how prepared you are, reality will bring you something different. When that happens, don't be afraid to feel and lean on your support team as well as make sure your loved ones have the support and love that they need. there. No two situations so be patient with what is going on around you. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your loved one. Ask questions and never be afraid to seek a second or third opinion or option. Never stay silent and remember that you and your loved one are never alone.


To fighting the good fight!

Defending Doctor Who!!

Hello fellow readers,


As you all know, Doctor Who is one of my favorite shows. I absolutely love it and everything to do with it! It's a great program that I think anyone would benefit from watching. I have seen some very terrible things written about this season and as a fan, I feel like I need to come to defend the show that I love! And, I just want to.

First people are upset that Peter Capaldi is the new Doctor. They are saying he is too old, too mean, and my favorite, too Scottish! People have actually penned letters to complain that his accent is too thick for them to understand! Can you believe that crap! It's like they are reaching for something to be mad about. As far as his age, no one actor has been more prepared or more perfect for the role of a 1200 year old Time Lord. Peter Capaldi is a fan and has been since he was a boy. He grew up on the show and was passionate enough about it to become a member of the fan club when he was a young man. No other actor can bring this unique and amazing portrayal of The Doctor. When the 50th anniversary came out it erased any gap between "New" and "Classic" Who. Peter Caplidi's Doctor is a true reflection of this. He has the edge of the classic Doctors and the love, comedy, and sass of the new Doctors. Peter Caplidi is The Doctor!!

As far as 12's new darker personality, it is very simply a reminder that he is an alien. He is a Time Lord who isn't sure if he killed his entire planet, or if his family is out there waiting for him somewhere to rescue them. Would you be a kind person all of the time when you have all of that going on in the back of your mind? I like seeing this side of the Doctor. David Tennant was a master at showing "the fury of a Time Lord." Those moments were dark and terrifying. Peter Capaldi is showing this fury more than any other Doctor and it's right for this regeneration. This is just another side of a very complex character that has been around for 50 years!!! He can't be the same thing over and over again because that would be boring.

Speaking of change, people are having a very hard time with The Master being played by a female and now being called Missy! People's outrage has made me sick! What is wrong with The Master being a female! It has been established in the history of the show that Time Lords/Ladies can change genders. People are all upset and are returning everything they have ever bought to do with Doctor Who because of Missy. They are worried they are going to see a female Doctor!! My answer to them is, so what? This show is about constant change, and acceptance. Everybody is important no matter how different they are! This has been a theme in the show for years and now a female becoming one of the most important character's of the show is somehow an issue! I don't understand the huge deal.

People keep accusing show runner Steven Moffat of having his own agenda. It has been the gay agenda, the political agenda, the religious agenda, the gender equality agenda. This man must have a lot of time on his hands as much as people are reading into this. Let's make one thing clear, these themes are nothing new at all!! Doctor Who has always had openly gay and bi sexual characters in a time when it wasn't even discussed. They have always taken a hard look at religion and a belief structure because like the Doctor said, he doesn't know if he believes but it's worth searching for an answer. There have always been both males and females in a position of power, including the late and great Vertiy Lambert, the first producer of Doctor Who. As a female producer in 1964 with a gay Asian as the first director, they saw more adversity than most of the characters in the show. These things were unheard of in 1964 yet Doctor Who was ran by a female, and a gay man! There is always room for everyone, because in all of time and space the Doctor has never met anyone who isn't important!

This show is about change, about regeneration. It can't stand still, because like time, things move on. If we were still caught up in the ways of yesteryear then we would never have had some of these amazing stories with diverse characters. It is a show that isn't afraid to tackle hard issues including life and death. It can be amazing and uplifting as well as depressing. It works, and if it was a formula show where at the end of the show the lesson of the day was revealed, it never would have survived 50 years. Things change and I can't wait to see what is going to happen in the future. Maybe we will have a transgender, black Doctor who likes hamburgers. It doesn't matter because what ever the Doctor will be, he or she will always be the Doctor, a Time Lord who travels to see the wonders of the universe no matter how strange, silly, or different they seem to be.

Caregiving: what it's like for me

Hello all,

I have been asked to write about being a caregiver. I know it's not my normal type of blog but it was requested of me. I must admit that I'm a little nervous about it because I am still very actively taking care of two people. I will do my best to honor their privacy so I am not going to go into any real details.  Just remember that taking care of the people I am working with is my number one goal. I do the best that I can to make sure they get the care that they need. I am not an expert at all on the subject, but it is my life and something that I have done for most of it. I have been an active caregiver to my parents, grandparents and some of my friends since I was a small child. It is something that is second nature to me, but I am human and like everyone else I get burned out.

First of all, I am not a nurse or a doctor. I have a lot of respect for those wonder and amazing people who have decided to make it their life's work. I do have medical training. I know First Aide, CPR, general things about medication, how to give shots, and some very specific things that go along with the conditions of the people I take care of. I do my research. I spend a lot of time in doctor's offices and any free moment I get, I will be asking questions, making notes, and trying to understand what I need to look for if anything goes wrong. I never sit on the sidelines, I do what I can to learn as much as I can in order to give the best care.

Being a caregiver is beyond a full time job, it is a life. I admire others who are in the same position that I am. I know some people give more time than I do, and others who only have to be a caregiver on a part time basis. Either way, it is not a traditional job but it takes so much out of you. No two days are similar and what may have worked for you a week ago won't work today. You must be adaptable and you must have patience. A caregiver can be up all night with their patient, or trying to catch up on things with their own lives only to have to get up again at the crack of dawn for a full day of appointments.

I know it's the number one rule when you are in this type of field that you need to take care of yourself first. I'm here to tell you while that is a great idea, it's damn near impossible at times. There are days where this is no issue at all but others, your life will need to be put on hold. It's different for every single person but I know from the small group of people who are in the same boat as I am that caring of yourself is something that is pushed aside a lot. It's a daily battle and sometimes you get to have a good day, and other days or even weeks go by before you realize that you haven't done a single thing for yourself beyond basic measures.

I have also found that being a caregiver is something of a stigma. Even thought it is a very hard job many people will point out that "it's not a real job." I admire those people for their blissful ignorance. There isn't much assistance out there for a person who is a caregiver and with society being ultra harsh on those looking for help it becomes a vicious cycle. There isn't much room to do anything else when you are a caregiver including working an outside job. If you look for help then you are automatically deemed as weak or a drain on society. I see it all the time on social networks how people are so angry that their hardworking dollars are going to the slums on food stamps and welfare. Well, I am an extremely hardworking person with days that can last 20 hours or longer. I am working all of the time but I qualify for very little help. I work odd jobs during my "off hours" to survive.  The point I'm trying to make here is people are very quick to judge because they think a caregiver is someone who gets to sit around and does nothing all day. This couldn't be further from the truth. It is a job that becomes a life of it's own and society thumbs their noses at people who don't go to an office and put in an 8 hour day. The government doesn't understand caregiving and with the society aging they aren't prepared for the amount of help that is going to be needed. They aren't prepared now.

It is hard taking care of someone when they are sick and in pain.  All you want to do is ease their suffering. It isn't unusual for you to get stressed to the point where you get a bit snappy at the person you are taking care of. Lack of sleep and highly stressful situations play a big part of this. So does hope. It is easy to fall into a habit of getting hopeful any time you see your client having a good day, but a moment later it ends. You always want that person to be well and be in a place where they can have more good days than bad. The bad days take their tolls. The good days that turn bad are worse. It's like you take 10 steps forward and then something happens and you are pushed back 20. It's a process and it takes a very strong person to get through it. You have to make sure you are doing your best to help your client feel good on their good days, and okay on their bad days, and learn when you need to let them be. It is an ongoing process. Since no two days are the same, no two emotions are the same either and what was a clue to you before may mean something completely different the next time.

The person asking me to write this asked if I have had people die on me. The answer to that is yes, I have. As a caregiver you may be left in the dark. What I mean by this is other people are going to be very upset and completely forget that you were the one taking care of everything. You will get those really fun people who say they were the ones who dropped everything to help out him or her when you know they haven't been through the door for at least a year. Or, they will forget that you are human and you are feeling a loss yourself. I have no real advice on how to deal with this. My Dad's motto was to pick your head up and keep going. I think that has gotten me through a lot in my life, especially being a caregiver to so many different people with vastly different needs.

So, that's what it is like for me. I don't know how it is for other people. I know that there may be people ready to tell me how I should or shouldn't do something. Thank you for your concern. I just know that caregivers are a bunch of very underrated people who get the short end of the stick. They must be strong when others are weak, must know when to react, and how to take care of anything that comes up during the day. It's something that takes up a lot of time, effort, and money. Everyone will have a point in their life where they will need this level of help. I hope when the times comes for me that I will be able to be kind and understanding because I've been in those well worn shoes. I don't have the answers for other people, but I'd love to open up a dialog for those who are interested in sharing there experiences. If not, then I hope if you read this blog maybe you felt less alone and know that someone else out there knows what you are going through.