I Am A Feminist Because My Life Depends On It

           Happy International Women's Day, While I can hear the collective eye roll around the world, I hope that you will take a bit of my view to heart. Women are second to men. We are 50% of the population yet we are paid less, worked more, and trapped by outdated ideals that rule how the world views us. I do not hate men, nor do I want to bash them. The way females are viewed, our ideals, and our shortcomings in society are all of our fault. We are all responsible for the position that we are in, and we all need to fight very hard to fix the mistakes of the past. The reason that I am a feminist? Because my life depends on it, and if you are female, so does yours!

        There are many examples of why living as a woman is very dangerous. One that people may not think about much, but something that most of us encounter is our health. There is nothing more sexist than the way women are treated in the medical community as patients. The old outdated ideas from the hysterical housewives of yesterday were so damaging that people still believe them! Doctors and nurses of both genders have the horrible notion of emotions actually being the females problem that brought them to the doctor, and not a real medical condition. How many men have been asked on a regular basis if they are upset about anything in their life that would cause them to become ill? Think it's something routine? Why would you ask a question like that when you were in car accident? That happened to me. I was a passenger in a car wreck with a neck and head injury but I was asked by the nurse if I was stressed out about something from work that could be possibly causing me the pain!
 
           I almost died a few years ago due to a male doctor's ignorance of what he thought was emotions. I was having tingles in my hands and feet. This doctor literally told me that I was severally depressed and that I needed to get mental help right away. He assured me every single thing wrong with me was in my head and that I was just another hysterical woman. The truth of the matter was that my gall bladder had ruptured and the reason I was having tingles in my hands and feet was due to poison going through my body.  Because of this man, I didn't go back to the doctor because I was so offended and felt trapped. I knew no one was going to believe me. I ended up being forced to go to the ER by some very good friends. I was hours away from death, but I didn't want to seek medical attention because I never again wanted to be turned away from a real issue. That was not the only, or the last time I was told it was all in my head when I went to seek medical advice for an illness.

            We, as women are taught that if you are sick you probably are seeking attention, and it's weakness. Because of this terrible mind set, countless women have been ignored, laughed at, and misdiagnosed for years. Women don't tend to fight for themselves because they believe the bad stuff. They constantly underestimate themselves and question what they are feeling because the hysterical woman is so ingrained into our psychology We, as women, call each other out for the weakness of being ill. We are trying so hard to live up to unrealistic expectations and we are literally killing ourselves. Talk to an average woman about their health and get their own story. I bet they will say that they have put off going to the doctor because they have other responsibilities. This is another horrible thing many believe as well. We, as women, are judged on how well we can do it all. That means that we put our own health and well-being on the back burner. We go to work and school sick. We take care of our children and our partners while we are sick. We clean the house, cook, and do all the actives that are needed and we still don't go to the doctor. Women are not only expected to live this cruel and crazy lifestyle, but we are also expected to do it all well. There are so many blogs, articles and movies out there showing the lead female balancing her entire world and still looking her best while she does it. She might look good to the world, but it comes at a tremendous personal cost. They never show how many of these women end up stressed, sick, and addicted to uppers because they do whatever they can do to keep up the illusion.

        We need to lighten up on ourselves and allow each other to be sick. We need to allow each other to walk their own path in life. We need to stop saying we aren't woman enough if we admit that we are sick, that we can't do it all, and some of us don't actually want children. We need to let each other live our own way. Women do enough damage to each other and the medical community takes note of that. We go in for issues with our periods, something so controversial that it still is something women are forced to keep silent about even though it's been happening since the beginning of humanity. How insane is it that we feel like we can't openly discuss something that happens to us that is medical? Every other human being has go through a period so what in the world is the issue. When a woman is having an issue with her cycle, and tells a doctor, many times it is poop off as another emotional thing. I truly believe this is why we are missing so many medical issues when it comes to the reproductive organs because doctors are so willing to dismiss women when it comes to their periods. They don't get taken seriously until it's too late.

          Medicine needs to catch up or it will kill us! I became a Feminist because of this issue. I stayed one because I, like many women, have been sexually harassed. I, like many women, have been sexually abused. I, like many women, have been asked during an interview the following questions, if I had kids and how many hours would that take me away from the office, if I was married, if I was going to have a baby anytime soon, if I was actually serious about the job, or was it something that I was doing for fun, and if I realize that the office is mostly men and that could become a problem. Who cares if those questions are illegal because no one seems to care about women's rights and their lives. Sexual abuse happens every day, and it's just people being too sensitive when you claim it's sexual harassment. This is how the world works! Women's desperate pleas for help fall on deaf ears. We go from the victim to deserving it. We go from having a real issue to being too sensitive. There are those darn emotions again that not only claim my right for health, but also claim my right to work in a safe environment!

            There are hundreds more examples that I can give about why me being a feminist is because my life depends on it. I had to learn to use my voice even when I am being forced to be silent. I had to learn how to stop giving excuses on what was done to me because it wasn't my fault. I had to learn how to tell people that I know myself better than anyone else, and yes I am actually sick, not just having a bad day. I had to learn to stop apologizing for not being as good as other women because they seem to have it all while I fight for the poverty I am in. I had to learn to stop giving people excuses for not having children. I had to learn to stop giving reasons for why I am paid less, yet still work 12 or more hours every single day. My reality as a female is very similar to others and living this way is dangerous. We are not only killing ourselves with our outdated mindset but we are killing each other. Women need to do better by each other, and men need to realize that our lives are in constant danger because we always have to take extra precautions in our daily lives. We have to do things that you may have never considered because we constantly have to explain ourselves  and fight to be taken seriously.

          It's a sad, sad world that we live in, and it's even harder when you are a woman. So instead of rolling your eyes, celebrate how far we've come. We have a long way to go and I recognize that! However, we have come from a long ling of strong women who were fighters. Let's keep fighting and maybe someday a woman can go to the doctor and be seen for her actual symptoms and not be diagnosed with being a female. Maybe someday we will be hired for our skills, and paid equal wages instead of having to settle for less. Maybe someday the crimes committed against us could be tried against the criminal and not against the victims! Maybe someday, it will be unthinkable to harass a woman. Maybe, maybe, maybe... We have so many maybes that we all wish that could happen. Today, be grateful for all the amazing women that paved the way, and then tomorrow, start the good fight. We need you. We need all of you, or we will all sink. Treat it like feminism will save your life, because it might.