I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out why women are the way that they are and I am one. I see us doing very unhealthy and abusive things to ourselves and I can't help but to want to do something to make a difference even if it's just recording my observance of our culture. I don't want to say I'm a feminist because there is so much stigma attached to that word and it's not positive. However, I feel that women are second class. I see it every single day and I have even written about this topic several times in the past. The reason I keep writing about it is because we need to take a good look at ourselves as females and really start to live different and demanding more of ourselves or this cycle will continue. Since this has become since a hot topic, I am going to write about the struggles of women in a series so I will stop accidently repeating myself and just get to the topics at hand.
Part One: Women can't do it all so ask for help! Stop whining!
I recently read a blog about a woman who just wanted a break. She is a mother and works full time. All she wanted was for her man to take care of everything that she did for a day so she could rest. She listed off examples of getting the children up, getting them dressed, packing their lunches, taking them to school, going to work, leaving early to go to soccer games, go home and fix dinner, wash dishes, get kids to bed and go to bed herself. That is in between her full time job, paying bills, getting groceries, and trying to be a friend and a wife. Did you see this list? That's impossible! No one woman can do it all. No one man can do it all either. We need to start realizing that we are human and we just need to do the best that we can. However, you can't neglect yourself even though it's very easy to do this.
Was I upset because she wanted her man to take care of her? Not at all because everyone needs a break once in awhile. The thing that got me upset was this woman clearly wasn't telling her husband that she wanted help. I think part of this stems from the fact that women have a need to take care of everything and not ask for help. They truly fear they will be perceived as weak. She should have taken the time she spend writing this blog and actually talk to her husband and voice her concerns. She is not only doing herself an injustice, but she is doing him one as well. The longer you take on the world and do everything yourself, the easier it is to become exhausted and resentful. There may come a day for her when she wakes up and realizes that she has raised those children herself but is a complete stranger to her husband. She had years to reach out to him and say that she needed more help but instead she whines about needing time off because she does it all.
I'm a tired of women feeling this way. This is what society has made us out to be. If we can't be a wife, mother, and juggle all their activities as well as work full time without any missteps then we aren't really women. This comes from years and years of having to try to prove ourselves as being just as good as men. Women really haven't been able to vote for very long compared to men. We still make less money and aren't represented in business or politics equally. Female athletics are looked at much differently than males. We still are seen as Mom's and nothing more. Look how we are represented in TV, magazines, movies, and advertisements. While there is nothing wrong with being a Mother, it's not the only thing that a female can be. Women are either highly sexualized or made to be matronly.
One of the biggest reasons women are second class citizens is the Bible. If you look through the Bible women are mostly portrayed as objects, evil, and of course whores. If you grew up in a religious household then you have been surrounded with stories and teachings that are showing women as nothing more than a man's helpmate. My personal feelings on this are that men wrote the Bible and women were disregarded and their roles became less and less as time went on. I feel that people who were doing the translations put their own spin on things and a lot got lost. It is sad because if you believe in the Bible then you have heard that humans were created in God's image. Females weren't made up as a second thought, they were made in God's image too which makes us just as important as a man.
We need to realize that even though we have been taught to believe we are less than men we really aren't. We need to ask for help from people in our lives instead of living in fear of being perceived as weak. I can't tell you how many times I have heard women utter the phrase I am fine when nothing could be further from the truth. Women will even go so far to neglect their own health out of fear of being seen as someone who can't do it all. People get sick, need help, and have weak moments. They need to reach out and stop staying silent. Are you married with children? Don't keep the tasks you have daily to yourself because what good are you really doing? You have a partner, use them. If you don't feel like they will help you then you have bigger problems and should probably seek help. There isn't anything wrong with getting help! Being a woman doesn't mean that you have to do it all and not complain. Being a strong women means knowing that you can't do it all and you need help. Using your voice makes you strong, not weak. If you stay on the path of never asking for help and begging for a day off because you do so much, you have no one to blame but yourself.
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